Almost European? Nope. Still American.

The weather was beautiful today.  And when I say beautiful, I mean a stark contrast to the -12C blizzard conditions from 6 weeks ago.  I really have no idea HOW warm it was, but there was actually some sunshine.  I almost got hot.

The shops were open today (Sunday).  I'm not privy to the special name for this, but it was pretty neat nonetheless.  Of course you have to remember that typically there is absolutely nothing open on Sundays!  Maybe a gas station or two but thats IT.  I was a lazy American this morning (-1 point).  Slept in until 10:15 (good grief that felt good though).  Had coffee on the balcony (+1 point).  Then at 13:00 left to walk up and down Marktlstrasse for the very first time.  (Not sure if you can count the 13:00 time notation as European since I am a military brat, but we will consider it slightly European as well...+1 point).

I was brave an ventured from my apartment for the first time with no jacket.  I felt like such a rebel despite slight panicky feelings wondering if I would be frozen in 10 min.  The streets were truly abuzz with people and music.  It was quite nice actually.  I did not do as the locals did and sit in the street-side cafes eating monstrous ice creams (-1 point).  Instead, I just walked by and took their picture (-2 points for being a tourist).

After a few hours of shopping and buying touristy things for my friends back home (-1 point), I dropped my bags off at the apartment.  +2 points for walking and not driving.

I actually felt guilty I was inside my "flat" for 30 min with the weather being so nice (+1 point).  My colleague called and we went WALKING to look at the castle.  Sad that I have lived here for 6 or 7 weeks or whatever and still have not visited the castle grounds.  Oops.

I am typing this while listening to German TV (+1 point.)

I wore my cammo hat today (-2 points).

I had an American dinner (-1 point).

We sat at the cafe at the castle and had a cappuccino (+1 point).

Total tally:
American = -8
European = +7



Still have some work to do I guess....

The List

Because I am old and have the memory of a stuffed animal, I am going to start a list of places I have travelled.  I realized this is necessary because I have tried to list where I have been a few times and it takes me 10 minutes to remember.  Hopefully this will help to spare the next person who asks 9 minutes of watching me hurt myself thinking.

I have added a fav pic from each trip that I took.  I've also decided to add a star system.  Five Stars = MUST visit!!!  One Star = eh.  Take it or leave it.


Reit Im Winkl (ski resort city)*** (great spot for skiers or snow tubing)

Salzburg****

Snow Church in the town I can never pronounce nor remember**** (a must see, but not sure they do it every year)

See.  Already had to stop and think.

Landshut (castle)**

Ampfing for go-carting***

Mueldorf**

Munich****

Altoetting (black Madonna)***

Zugspitze (highest mountain peak in Germany and the highest Biergarten)*****

Umag, Croatia (beach)***

Trieste, Italy (castle on the water)***

Skojcan Caves, Slovenia (cool cave to tour)****

Prague, Czech Republic*****

Drive through the Dolomites****

Ramstein AB***

Frankfurt-Hahn Airport (Where I was born)*

Venice, Italy*****

Milano, Italy****

Jesolo, Italy (beach)**

Aldersbach Brewery***** (team building trip)

7 day cruise to Greece - Venice, Corfu, Santorini, Mykonos, Katakolon/Olympia *****

Rabac, Croatia (beach)**, Pula, Croatia (colosseum)***

Plitvice National Park in Croatia (waterfalls)*****

Ljublajana, Slovenia (castle)***

Lake Bled, Slovenia (castle and a church in the middle of a lake)****

Legoland***** (a MUST for little people!!)

Dresden, Germany****

Helsinki, Finland*

Stockholm, Sweden***

Krakow, Poland**

Auschwitz Concentration Camp****

Budapest, Hungry****

Beerfests*****

Hluboká nad Vltavou, Czech Republic****

Church of Bones (Sedlec Ossuary), Czech Republic****

Heidelberg, Germany****

Either I can't remember any more right now or that was it.

To be continued...(if I can remember to keep this up)


            

1%

Here it is.  The avoidance can no longer be evaded.

The bottom of "The W."

I wish I had never seen this analogy.  The feelings of highs and lows equating to a "W" form.  It must be prevalent enough that we are taught and forewarned of this in advance to our arrival in Germany.  It has been in the back of my mind ever since the vile slide showed itself in intercultural training.  So I have known it was going to happen.  Purely inevitable.  Crap... One day I will have to endure this and I know its going to be especially harsh.

#$%^&*

It has become almost a talent of mine to hide feelings, stuff them in a corner in some room with a key and just forget about them.  Eventually, they fade away and die.  Life goes on.  So when I do become quite emotional, it is an unusual feeling for me.  I'm pretty sure I know why and when this started, but thats for me to know and you to wonder about.

My biggest struggle in Germany is blatantly clear to anyone who knows me even remotely well or anyone that has step foot inside my apartment.  I spend 99% of the time repressing thoughts, memories and emotions.  Its the 1% I am terrified of; the 1% of my time where I fear I will be anywhere but home alone.  The 1% of the time when I am NOT in control of myself.  The 1% of the time I feel vulnerable and deep breaths with closed eyes aren't enough to suppress the aching.

This whole experience has been about sacrifice for everyone.  There is no sacrifice that anyone has that is any greater or inferior than another's.  In one sense, we are all in this together.  Things are beautiful, amicable and jovial on the outside, but we are all a gooey mess on the inside.  Uprooted from everything and especially everyone who is important to us.  The pictures are beautiful, the opportunity is unique, but 1% of the time is spent questioning everything.  1% sometimes feels like 99%.    

Strength.

Prayers for strength are the most numerous they have ever been in my life and I am sure in many of my colleagues' lives as well.  The importance is immeasurable.

Behind every smile is a tear shed for those we love.  

I feel disconnected.  I might as well be on an island.  Pure disconnect.  Time goes on and sentences get shorter,  Days get "fine"r.  I don't know how to fix it.  I don't know how to put a sticker on it that smells like strawberries when you scratch it.  I just don't know.

The bottom of the "W."

Strength.


Another day.  Another beautiful picture, another incredible adventure.  Smile.  Everything will be ok.  Strength.  Always, strength.

Howdy there Amerikanerin

Once upon a time there was an American going home from work.  She thought she looked normal.  Work jacket on and jeans.  No hat.  Two Germans rode by in the opposite direction, looked and said "Howdy."

So what is it?  The infamous tattoo on the forehead that tells secrets?  "Caution: American"  I understand it has been well announced about the arrival of ~60 Americans in this small German city.  However, there are 10,000 people that work at my plant.  How did they just HAPPEN to yell "howdy" at the right time?  Oh well.  I am more so curious as to what it is about my demeanor to give "it" away.  I was riding a bike. Last I knew, you are pretty limited on how to ride a bike - although it wasn't part of my cultural training on how to ride a bike like a German so I guess I don't know for sure.

It's been one month since I lived in the eastern time zone.  The things I miss about the US are pretty much limited to specific people.  I did cheat and have my mom send me some hazelnut creamer though.  Germans don't have flavored creamers and to any coffee loving American, this is a travesty.  HOWEVER, their machines are far superior than our $15 Walmart coffee pots.  I know a few in our group planning on making the $1,000 investment into a German machine.  I am already trying to think of ways to bribe or blackmail these people so I can get them to bring me some coffee every morning.  I have a long time to think about some clever ways.  Ideas are welcome, but the resulting coffee is all mine.

Trips:
Since my last blog I have been to Munich and Salzburg again.  I stayed one night in Munich and just scratched the surface on what there is to see/do there.  My favorite place thus far was the Hofbrauhaus.

I had an idea in my head on what a proper German bar should feel like.  Including what it should look like, sound like, and smell like.  I had yet to fulfill this yearning until I walked through the double door at the Hofbrauhaus...

Truly a fantastic experience.  The band was playing and random tables would burst into song occasionally.  You could quite easily pick out the old gents who had been coming to the HB most of their lives.  Another fantabulous aspect of HB was walking around and coming across some very funny (drunk) people...

I am hoping he lost a bet or something and thus had to wear a dress.

Salzburg was awesome as usual.  This trip was more for shopping, but we did manage to head towards the fort.  The Adidas outlet store is worth a trip.  The Designer Outlet mall was a very nice mall.  There were a few good deals there, but nothing spectacular.

I had a wonderful experience last Friday night of losing my keys.  If anything could go wrong, it did.  I was so friggin agitated at myself.  I did find them, however, after 2.5 hours of phone calls and bike rides.  Luckily there was plenty of German helles weiss bier at the end of the day to save me.

Wow, that was kind of a boring blog, sorry.  I'll try to so something more entertaining this week.